one common therapist mistake has to do with building the therapeutic alliance you know a lot of people have learned in graduate school someplace along the way for example not to use self disclosure with clients I find that one of the most important parts about CBT is being a nice human being in the room with a client and helping the client feel safe and therefore there are a variety of techniques that we might use including self disclosure so that the client starts to trust us so the client starts to think okay I can reveal whatever I need to reveal we want to work on the therapeutic alliance to the degree that we need to that the client can get to that point we don’t want clients to go through sessions thinking what is my therapist thinking of me as she judging me is she going to say something to hurt me so it’s really important particularly when we’re talking with clients with personality disorders to do what we need to do to make clients feel safe and so that they feel a connection with us and I think that’s one mistake that sometimes therapists make is not building that strong enough connection with their clients