Hey Everybody! Happy Thursday. Now today’s video is actually something that I’ve been excited to talk about. It is a question that I received
a couple of weeks ago. I keep your questions in this
huge document so don’t think they are going unanswered
or lost they’re in this document that I hold. In this question says, “Hey Kati could you do a video on therapy
from the therapist perspective kind of like an inside view
of the process, like what do you think or feel when having
as session? Do therapist ever have moments when they
don’t know what to say? Or if someone brings up something
that they didn’t expect? How do you handle that. What if if a session takes an
unexpected turn? Huh! Do you ever have problems identifying
with the client or identify too much? Lots of random questions but I thought the
idea of the “inside” look of therapy would be really interesting and
informative thanks for everything you do and just for being you. Awe. I thought
this was really cool and something that I hadn’t actually thought
about sharing. But I’m sure everyone just like you have your own experience in
a therapy session as a client therapist are going to be different. So I
am just answering this from my perspective what I know and my experience. And am
gonna kinda try to go through her questions one by one. So the first
part she said Do therapist ever have moments when they
don’t know what to say? Or if someone brings up something
that they where not expecting? And definitely there are definite times
where I will have there is a problem thats been presented. And even though I may know
cause a lot of times as a therapist we know what that the like
“quote-on-quote” answer is or they just need to do this to “fix the
problem” cause I am trying to get you there and maybe telling you that
doesn’t help you. You have to figure it out and so there
are times when I’ve kind of come to like a road block where they’re not like
getting what I want them to get and I don’t know how else to say it and I’ll
be at a loss for words and I’ll just be honest. I’m kind of one of those
types of therapist where I’ll just say, “honestly I don’t really know what to say
right now. We’ve tried you know.” And I just kind of talk about the process
and usually by doing that we come unstuck. Either the client’s like, oh, they
see something or the recognize something or I am like here’s another way we could
go about it. And so there’s never one way to get there it’s not like you know
google maps or something it is like this is how to get from A to B it’s more like
waze, for those of you who know the waze app we could go all these different
directions to get to the same end point. The second part of the question says, umm “What if a session takes an unexpected
turn, do you ever have?” Oh, and that’s an another one. If it takes an unexpected
turn that.. honestly I never go into sessions having a pre-planned idea of what
we’re going to talk about. I have a nugget of where I’d like to go because
I can’t go into a session unprepared, that would be bad. But I also don’t go in
thinking this is what we have to accomplish because I would be upset
all the time, and so always sessions are taking unexpected turns. I’ll have
clients in the last ten minutes of a session umm we call them they use to
call them, what was it uhh door confessions or something like that
like as their about to leave they confess like a big deal. And I have that happen
all the time where someone is like, “oh by the way umm I have like
sexually abused for like 10 years” or; “oh by the way you know I purge
all the food I eat and bye” and so I get like these kinds of
drop offs at the end and then it just give me something to work
with umm for the next session. And so I often often just say that I’ll
say, “thank you so much for sharing, I am glad you feel safe doing that. Lets
you know table that for next week.” And we just move on ’cause there’s not
enough time and if we open that up it’s gonna take a long time make ’em safe
enough to leave. Umm, “Do you ever have problem
identifying with a client or identifying too much?”
Definitely we’re human too right it’s all about the relationship and that’s why I
talk so much on my channel about finding the right fit. I know not all of
us have all sorts of opportunities and referrals and stuff like that and
hopefully that will get better. And that is one of my global goals to
change how mental health operates world wide. But in the meantime
trying to find someone you can at least connect with because as
therpists I’ve referred clients out when I don’t feel like we’re really
connecting or they’ll just won’t want to make appointments and I just won’t you
know I’ll be like yah wonderful to see you and meet you umm here is some other people
you might like. That’s kinda like of part of the
process that’s completely normal. Umm and identifying too much, defiantly
that can also be bad too and it’s a struggle for therapist a lot of time to
countertransference. Like if they’ve gone through lets say I was in recovery from
alcoholism, I’m not but lets say I was and somebody comes to my office and I
don’t deal with that ’cause it too close to home and then I find out that they’re
doing that I might have to refer them out because it can be too hard for me to
keep my own shit out of the room; which is kind of important when
your helping someone else. And umm I think that was it yah so I hope
that was kind of interesting and informative. I know that there is
a lot of you know, behind the smoke and mirrors of therapist but we’re people too
and a lot of the things that you wonder about or worry about like we’re human so
yah we’re not gonna not know what to say, we’re gonna fumble our words sometimes
we are gonna like people and not like others and we just have the human
condition just like you. So I hope you like this leave all your
questions in the comments, make sure you give this a thumbs up, and don’t
forget to subscribe if your not already subscribed. I put out videos twice a week
and you don’t wanna miss em, and I’ll see you next time. Subtitles by the Amara.org community