-Hey everybody! I have a wonderful and special guest. Many of you have requested that I sit down with Dr. Doe to talk about sexology and sex therapy. There’s a difference, I guess. -I’m sitting down with Dr. Doe, Lindsey Doe.
-Hi! -Tell ’em what you do. -I’m a clinical sexologist in Missoula, Montana. I’m visiting you, and, um, I work with clients doing what you would probably consider counseling or talk therapy, We sit on a red couch and we talk about their sexual health issues and goals, And then I also have a YouTube channel where I do sex education, called Sexplanations. -And it’s a great channel, and I’ll link it in the description, all of her stuff, so you can check it out And we also did a video on her channel that I’ll push to at the end. But today I wanna talk about – Because I learned something new, you guys, I had no idea That sex therapy was different than what Lindsey actually does. So, tell us a little bit about how we break those up. Are there certain things you talk about and don’t talk about, or…? -So some people actually consider them the same thing, they’ll go to get a degree in clinical sexology And they will call themselves sex therapists. I choose not to do that, I call myself a clinical sexologist. And the distinction I make is that I have not gone through training to learn how to work Specifically with someone’s psyche, or to do cognitive behavioral therapy, et cetera. You know, like… Your strengths. I don’t have that, and I – When I think of a sex therapist, I imagine someone who has gone through the training that you have And then specializes or gets additional education on sex. -Okay, so, when you got your masters – is that correct, or did you – -So my bachelors is in psych, my masters is in health, and my doctorate is in human sexuality. -Gotcha, okay, so there’s a lot of differences, and I know that a lot of you have asked questions about stuff like this So I’ll have a video coming where I describe all the different types of mental health professionals. So if someone was to come to your office and sit down, what would be the focus of the session? -I don’t do a lot of family of origin, backstory, sex history stuff unless it’s relevant, so… We will do a quick sex history, and I will try and get as much information as I can about their unique sexuality In the context of their whole well-being. So I’ll ask them about their mental health and their physical health, Their psychological health, how they learn best, so when I give them homework assignments I’m doing that targeted to them and what their needs are. And then we start talking about where they want to be, or what they’re struggling moving through, and Really, I see my role as holding space for them to not be judged for who they are, And then they do a lot of the work themselves, unpack what’s going on in a supportive environment. -Of course, and I think – I mean, in all truth, that’s what I do a lot. We talk a lot in the therapy world about our offices being like a safe holding environment, Where it’s like all the nitty-gritty, icky, “I’m embarrassed” things can come out and play and it’s okay And we can talk about it, and then you can leave it there, and then you can come back next week, and it’s okay. -So it sounds like very much the same.
-Yeah. -Do you specialize – So sex therapy, okay, so a different thing – Do you know a little bit about how that plays out, or what that would look like? -Very similar, right? But I think that looks more like your profession, with the sex piece added in. Which a lot of therapists don’t have, and I wish that they would. When someone comes to me, the difference is that I’m more in an educational role, Here, I can actually explain it for you. So there’s a model called the Plissit Model, P-L-I-S-S-I-T -I’ve done a video on it, which you can link to.
-In the description. -Essentially, how it works is that you have four tiers of treatment, And the first one is permission. So the permission to be who you are, permission to masturbate, Permission to do more research. Most people actually resolve their sexual health issue with just permission, especially from an expert in the field. And then from there you have the tier limited information, And that’s where I might give a book resource or a statistic or something, Maybe even a title of their sexual orientation, like, just understanding that there is a word, Asexuality and having an identity that matches that. And then from there you have an even smaller group, which is specific suggestions. So then I might teach techniques, even more book references, or, you know. Specific suggestions. And then the very, very last tier is out of my realm. That would be the intensive therapy, where I would refer out to someone like you for family of origin, et cetera. If you start with 100 people and you go down these tiers, really, A clinical sexologist can take care of those first three, and about 85% of the population. -And then for that last core group…
-Yeah, like if they had some… -Complex PTSD in their childhood, or something going on… interesting. -And so that’s actually where a sex therapist would probably come in, Somebody who has great training in both fields. -Wow, so that’s really fascinating, I had no idea all the differences and how that goes into it. So if someone, like myself or one of my viewers, is interested in that, or thinks that that might be something that they need, -How do they know that?
-Okay, so… -I relate sexology to dentistry, and I think that it would be really great if people had a sexologist That they went and did a “regular teeth cleaning” with, or got a check-up. And so, ideally, everyone would have a clinical sexologist or a sex therapist, Or a therapist who can talk about sexual issues, and I think it’s really really important to contact someone When your behaviors are changing, in order to accommodate something that you’re struggling with. Like, if you’re avoiding sex, for example, or you’re having lots of sex because you’re avoiding something else. And then to find a clinical sexologist or a sex therapist, In America at least, there’s the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, called ASECT -We’ll put the link in the description.
-Yeah. -That’s really cool.
-And so you can search by your location -And it will pull up a list of all the people. And Patti Britton has a really awesome book on the art of sex coaching If you’re interested in how to kind of get involved in being a sex professional. -Yeah, interesting. It’s so fascinating to learn about other types of mental health professionals And there’s something for everybody, I think that’s kind of the message that I wanna get across, is that If something in your life is bothering you, if something is holding you back, You feel like you’re doing something more or less as a way to compensate for something – I talk about coping skills, like using self-injury, using eating disorders, and sex can be used the same As kind of like a way to punish yourself, harm yourself and things like that Like, restricting it could be punishing to you as well. And so I think it’s really important to take time – that’s why I always recommend journaling and things like that To take time to kind of go inside and figure out what’s going on, and where is this coming from, And what’s the root of it. And that’s why you see people like Lindsey and myself. -Aww.
-I know. -So we did a video on her channel, it’s wonderful, click over here to check it out, I’ll put the link in the description And hop over there and subscribe, her channel’s amazing. It’s another wonderful way to get educated about a whole other realm of mental health and sex health. -Thanks Kati!
-Yeah! Thanks for coming all the way to LA. We’ll see you next time!